Secrets & Admirers Read online

  I laughed. “Well, I’ll grab a few shirts and let you do your thing.” I took both of his hands in mine. “Lee, it was great to see you.” He tipped his head and kissed my cheek. I grabbed a shirt for me and one for Amelia while she raved about how unbelievable it was that Lee made them himself. I handed him money, despite his protests, and Lee jerked me into a quick but passionate kiss that ended with a distinct pop.

  Then he looked squarely at Briggs. “No disrespect, man, I’m just affectionate.” Lee spun away to deal with the crowd at his booth. Beck turned on his brother but Briggs just shrugged, keeping his face blank. He could lie to Beck, but he was upset. It was cute, and his jealousy gave me a little indication as to whether I was supposed to move on with things or count on him for a repeat of the night before. I threw one last wave at Lee and tossed Amelia her shirt before linking my arm with hers and starting toward the next booth. I laughed at the fact that Lee knew it was Briggs. While Briggs looked a little more laid back than Beck, we didn’t look like a couple, not at all. Once upon a time, Lee had been my person, or I thought so, either way he knew me pretty well. Amelia and I made it about three booths before Beck touched my shoulder.

  “What was that about? You said you weren’t seeing anyone.”

  I stepped back. “I’m not. I wasn’t.” I was a little unsure of that answer. “Lee and I went to kindergarten through college together.” Shrugging, I turned back toward the booth and started sorting through trinkets on the table. “We had a fling, I guess, but he wanted to travel and doesn’t believe in monogamy so he left a couple of years ago. One of the smartest people I know.” I never slept with Lee, but Beck could think I did.

  Beck scoffed, “That man went to college?”

  “That man is one of the best and wealthiest pediatricians in the US.” I glared until Beck took a step back.

  “You were certainly all over him.” He tried to sound casual, but anger made my stomach clench. I took a breath and calmed myself. Beck had no claim to me and never would but was acting like I had committed adultery against him. Briggs should have been the one questioning me.

  “I suppose I was. That’s the joy of being an adult, is it not? The freedom to do as you please with whomever pleases you. Other people may find your domineering personality intimidating, Beck, and some women may even find it endearing, but I don’t. While I appreciate the effort, I am not interested in you so please leave me alone, or learn to have a genuine conversation with me that doesn’t involve you acting like an alpha jackass.” I watched the anger move across his face for a moment before I met Briggs’s eyes behind his brother and moved on, Amelia in tow.

  “You can talk a big game, but I always get what I want, Harriet.” Beck smirked, crossing his arms. He said it like it would be a struggle to stay out of his bed. What an ego-maniac. There was no way in hell that was happening. I smiled at his challenge.

  Briggs ignored me almost entirely, just as he had the weekends before, and Beck left me alone after that. The situation made me irritable, but I kept myself calm. Beck was one thing, but Briggs was hurting my feelings more by the second. Had he not been the one saying he wanted to do it right, take me to breakfast, and struggling to leave? Again, my stupid decision to get involved with a man proved me a naive fool; I let emotions get involved and it was a dumb move on my part. Maybe Faye’s son would prove himself to be more than the men I was foolishly dealing with. Not that I was man shopping, but the older I got, the more time I spent with married friends, the more I wanted that. I wanted a partner, someone to be there no matter what. I wasn’t a big believer in the whole marriage thing, but a life partner sounded amazing. Someone to share with, love, to have that undeniable bond with.

  I found a bag I couldn’t live without and enough doorknobs to accomplish my goal on the patio. I also found some great material, a few shirts, and a stand with incense. The day was a success despite Briggs giving me the cold shoulder. Insecurity reared its head, but I swallowed it down. His issues, not mine, or I tried to tell myself. The reality was that I wanted him desperately. I wanted that attachment and I wanted it to be with him. I wasn’t instantly in love, but I wanted to know him better. I needed a chance with him.

  It was as we walked back to our respective cars that Rae set out to embarrass me and get her desired information. “So, Harriet, we should go out tonight and talk about the mystery man in your apartment last night. Jovie, you game?” She looked from me to Jovie and the entire party stopped in the gravel to stare at me. Mischief danced on Briggs’s face, but he made no attempt to help me, and I wanted to kick him. Beck just look pissed.

  “I’m game. Oh, and I’ll call Cori. Little hussy left thirty minutes into shopping.” Jovie grinned. “You already have a gentleman friend after a few weeks? Is it the mystery notebook man? What does he look like? Is he hot?” Her excitement made me giggle, and Ewan cleared his throat, touching his wife’s waist. That small gesture was what I wanted, craved.

  “No, no mystery notebook men. But, I had company last night, and yes, very hot.” I laughed, shaking off my trepidation and smiling. Briggs could ignore me and act like an ass, so I could make him uncomfortable too. “Yes, Mother Rae, we can have a ladies’ night, but don’t expect me to kiss and tell. When I’m ready to expose him to you people, I will.” They all laughed and we kept walking. I felt like a child asking permission to enter a relationship, but Rae had always been that way. She was quirky, loving, and very maternal. Briggs caught my attention as I climbed in the back of Nick’s Blazer, and a thought hit me. Briggs ignoring me at the flea market was no different than B refusing to meet me. It was their way of being childish and refusing to acknowledge me. I needed to decide if that fact was all right with me. In my mind, I knew it wasn’t. I could never be at ease with someone ashamed to claim our relationship in public. I was accustomed to flakey men, but that didn’t mean I was willing to tolerate it anymore. No relationship was worth falling back down the rabbit hole of self-doubt and self-deprecation. If he only wanted a hook up, that was fine, but he should have been clear because I was falling hard and it scared me.

  I told Rae about meeting Faye at Archer’s and she agreed to let me eat with Faye before drinking with them. Nick had just shifted into drive when my door opened and Briggs hopped in, shoving me over to the middle seat against George’s car seat. Nick called out an “I knew it” but Rae looked completely shocked. I felt the flush in my cheeks and failed to hide the smile tugging at my lips.

  “How long has this been going on? There is no way Beck knows about it.” Rae clapped and bounced in her seat. “Oh, my gosh, Harriet. Wait, can we still go out and drink? Was he there last night? Holy shit, you slept with Briggs.” Rae was wide-eyed waiting for my answer.

  Briggs stayed silent, snaking his arm around my waist and kissing my head. “We can still go out, but you aren’t getting any details out of me.” Rae pouted the whole ride and Nick shook his head, laughing. We made plans to get all dressed up and for Rae to pick me up later as we pulled up to my building.

  “Talk about an odd couple.” Nick winked at me but I just rolled my eyes and Rae punched his arm. We waved them off and I let us into the building.

  Before I could get the key in my apartment door, Briggs had me backed into the door and locked in a smoldering kiss. The keys clattered to the floor and I ran my hands into his hair, around his neck, and to his back. It was like one kiss and I was lost to him entirely. So much for being mad and fussing at him for ignoring me. The man could just kiss me and I bent to his desires, and mine.

  Briggs nipped down my neck and back up until I pushed him off and stooped to get my keys. He was no different when we got in, it was the mirror image of being in the hall, except my skirt was around my waist and his pants were on the ground. He held me around his waist with one arm while the other braced on the wall and I clung to him and the doorframe. The same anger from the night before took him over and it engulfed him, taking me down too. Briggs kissed me possessively, demanding my mouth s
tay with his until I moaned against his bottom lip, riding out my release as he drove into me hard and fast. No matter how many times it happened, it just got better.

  “God, you feel so fucking good,” Briggs growled in my ear. His relentless pace sent another wave of ecstasy through me, making me moan. I wasn’t aware one could have so many orgasms in a day, but with my nerves tingling on my skin and Briggs slamming into me at the perfect angle, I was bound to hit some sort of record. Briggs groaned my name and slammed into me again, reaching his own release. He leaned into me panting then let me go so we both slumped into my door. Wedged between the door and his broad chest, I listened to his heartrate slowly decelerate and closed my eyes, enjoying the closeness. My body missed the memo about him being an ass at the flea market.

  After he caught his breath, Briggs shoved off me and the door to retreat to my room. After a beat of staring at the empty space he vanished from, I followed him and found him sitting on my bed with his head in his hands, still breathing heavily. I climbed behind him, curling around his back, hugging his waist, and kissed his neck, “Briggs?”

  “I’m sorry. I’m such a dick.” We sat like that for a while, a minute, maybe an hour. No matter how long, it was comforting.

  “Why are you sorry?” I stretched, popping my back, and laying back on the bed.

  “I don’t know.” Briggs stretched out next to me, resting his head on my chest, and I stroked his hair. “I feel so crazy right now. It’s like I can’t keep my hands off you and I really don’t want to. I want you to know everything about me, but that idea terrifies me. It scares the shit out of me. Then there’s Beck …” he trailed off and sighed, hugging me to him. “I feel like I’m being an ass to you. I was so rude today, but I didn’t want to put this out there until I knew you were all right with it. I almost attacked my own brother today for touching you, which is a little insane. When I saw you getting in Nick’s car, I had to go with you. I can’t leave you alone. I want to shout this from every roof top, but if I had breathed a word of it, Beck would have gone at you harder, and I couldn’t put you through more of his bullshit. Did any of that make sense?”

  “You’re confusing.” He ignored me the entire day, but we had sex, again. I let it happen and thoroughly enjoyed it, but he was being an ass.

  “Beck is a dick. Completely and wholly. He doesn’t want you, he wants to seduce you, say he did, and move on. His words, not mine. And here I am, the inferior twin, with this attraction to you that I can’t even explain. The moment I saw you, it was like getting hit by a train, but Beck’s my brother. He talks about you like you’re an object. If he knew about us, the challenge would be even greater for him. His favorite women are the ones who have shown an interest in me. Then the massive, red-headed, hippie doctor today drove me mad. I wanted to slit his throat for looking at you, and I am not like that. I’m not violent or possessive. You make me crazy.” Briggs spoke frantically, like he couldn’t get his confession out fast enough. He was truly conflicted and it was paining him even if it made no sense to me.

  I wiggled down so we were face to face, kissing his nose. “Talk, I’ll listen. And you aren’t being an ass. Well, maybe a little. I just want to know where we stand, before this goes further. You can tell who you want when you want, but don’t jerk me around.”

  “Where we stand? I would follow you to the end of the fucking Earth, so don’t think you’re getting rid of me. I’m making plans right now to kidnap you and take you home with me so I can be near you all the time. That’s where we stand. Now, I should let you get ready. I also need a shower that doesn’t involve getting dirty again.” Briggs pulled my mouth to his, kissing me slowly. My body wiggled closer so I was completely pressed against him. “Have fun tonight.” I nodded and kept kissing him. I truly couldn’t get enough of him even if he was confusing. Every touch made me completely forget how upset I was, made me want more. We were on the same page where that was concerned.

  “Get out of here before I don’t let you leave,” I moaned when his hand slid up my skirt on my thigh. Instead of going between my legs, he uncovered the tattoo on my hip and traced it with his finger. The light touches even made me needy, again. Briggs had taken me more times in twenty-four hours than Blake had the last six months we were together and it was way more satisfying, but I wasn’t convinced he wouldn’t leave eventually. I planned on enjoying him while it lasted, but not getting too attached. With more self-control than I possessed, he fixed my skirt, kissed me hard, and whispered “good-bye” against my lips. I leaned back just to stare at him, getting sucked into his dark eyes for a few minutes before he left me.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Briggs

  I walked home, realizing how badly I had fucked up. There was really no going back from it, either. Harriet was perfection and I wanted her forever, but she seemed to just be having a good time. That wasn’t enough for me, nowhere close. I wanted to own every inch of her and wanted her to know where she belonged. There was no doubt in my mind that Harriet belonged with me. Unfortunately, that would take time. Then there was the fact that I had lied to her for three weeks. The idea of just keeping that a secret seemed like a good one, but I wasn’t sure I could live with that decision. Could I really base a relationship with her on lies? Could I pretend that we hadn’t shared the flirty jokes for weeks? The answer was an easy one. No. She deserved better than a lie.

  Ma was home, putting away dishes in the kitchen, but Beck was nowhere to be found. I hadn’t told him where I was going, I just didn’t get in his car. The act made me feel defiant, but it was more pathetic than I cared to admit. It made me realize how dependent I had been on his company, his approval. It made me realize how, despite hating him when Harriet was involved, I was still lingering in Beck’s shadow. It was fucked up to say the least, and I was done being pathetic.

  After I wore Murphy out with some fetch in the backyard, I made my way to the game room for some pool. I had to keep busy, had to not dwell on her while she was out with her friends instead of staying cocooned with me all day. It was only a matter of time before Beck came storming into my room to chew my ass for getting in his way with Harriet. I finally told him to lay off after she got in his face at the market. My brother did not take that well. Then there was the fact that I had been so harsh to her, demanding she not talk to the other guy, when I was the other guy, then fucking her just because I could. Harriet had to think I was using her after the way I slept with her then been so distant. Truth was, I didn’t know what to do once we were done. There was no self-control where she was concerned so I ended up rough and demanding. I was too terrified of her figuring it all out to talk much, but wanted her to know all of me. I knew I had bided my time, but she didn’t, so I looked like an asshole only out to get my rocks off. Fuck.

  “Where did you go? First you spent the night out, then you leave with someone else from the market.” Beck grabbed a stick and set up next to me. “Man, can you believe Harriet talked to me like that? Is she a fucking lesbian or something?” Then I laughed. Harriet was not a lesbian, and he truly didn’t care that I had vanished. Beck took his shot. “Awesome thought, right? The hippie chick making out with some other chick. That would be hot as fuck.” My brother motioned for me to take a shot. It was like Beck never got past the ripe old age of twenty-one, or at least his dick hadn’t. “So where did you go. It’s some pussy, right? She hotter than that last one?” I shrugged and set up my next shot. I was just going to let the asshole talk. “Well, man, I’m just glad my little brother is getting some ass.”

  “Briggs?” Ma pushed my door open. “Beck left, but I want a good burger, and I set it up for you to meet that girl from the library.” I put my book down, trying not to groan. I had no interest in anyone but Harriet, especially after the night before, but Ma wanted to go to Archer’s which was fine by me. Burgers and beer almost made seeing another girl worth it. I could be polite and kindly tell Ma and the girl that I was involved with someone else. Of course, I would have to
tell Harriet that I went to dinner with another woman. One shitty secret was bad enough, and I had no plans of leaving her alone. I met Ma downstairs and led her to the car, opening the door for her.

  “How was the library today?” I backed out and clicked the heat on, it had gotten cold since my walk home from Harriet’s.

  “Fine. Please be open minded this evening. She’s meeting us for dinner. Well, she’s going to be there and said she would stop by our table to meet you.” I could barely keep my eyes on the road. First there was notebook fiasco, then Beck trying to fuck the woman of my dreams, and to ice the cake I had Ma trying to set me up. It was exhausting and very sobering. My mother trying to find me a woman was a definite ego blow, but it made her happy. How had I gone from content bachelor to the mess I was in?

  “Ma, you really don’t have to do this,” I tried to plead with her.

  “I’m not getting any younger, Briggs. And Beck is an idiot. I certainly hope no one ends up pregnant by him.” I chuckled, but she shook her head. “You can’t keep hiding, Briggs. You deserve a good woman to take care of you, love you, and she is so lovely. Not all women are Penny, and not all women are shallow bitches.” I parked at Archer’s and turned to her, trying to ignore her mention of Penny and focus on my sweet little mother calling other women bitches.

  “Ma, I appreciate the gesture, but really, it’s fine.” Ma popped me in the head hard enough to stun me.